And the elections too oddly fall in this category. The elections that come in varied hue and names like the by-elections, Lok-Sabha elections and the Assembly elections are truly something that Indians look forward to. The entire atmosphere changes to that of a Mela (a local fair). As chaotic as the Kumbh mela, this fanfare is held every five years (if the government, often an assortment of small, warring parties does tide over numerous no-confidence motions that the opposition brings as hurdles in the race otherwise called governance).
Indians are true lovers of cricket. We would stay out of work for a whole day just to watch that 'crucial' match and later discuss it animatedly with our friends. On such an important day, if you go out you would find the roads deserted, the shops half-closed and even your neighbourhood appears eerily silent except for an occasional shout that emanates simultaneously from all around for a sixer scored or for that unbelievable catch. The communal, social, class divide disappears and men get to be amiable with each other and with their wives, provided they are ready to discuss cricket!
The same goes for the elections. I still remember in my school days, Papa was glued to the TV. Then there was only Doordarshan as Prannoy Roy (the Indian TV news mogul) who did the election analysis. The leaders and candidates of different parties appeared for panel discussions and much mud slinging and the viewers (read Papa) were greatly enjoying the 'show'. I almost thought that it was his cricket but found out that this was a different sort of entertainment.
Now the Doordarshan has almost been shown the door (at least in urban India) while a line of news channels through the cable give a sumptuous spread of the news programs meant for before, during and after elections. The news channels have now turned into reality news channels, where you are updated with the latest with live footage. You can view the notorious Varun (I somehow can't attach the Gandhi name with him, though he is legally entitled to it!) being taken by the police in the middle of the night to a secure jail or know and discuss who really is the third front (which sadly even the third front is not quite sure of) and know all the permutations and combinations that are possible for party alliances, follow Mayavati (the self-proclaimed Obama, gosh! tell me its a joke!) in her campaign trail or hear Advani's political agenda onscreen.
People watch it, talk it, sleep it, think about it, give their own opinions on it but never do really act on it. Urban India is known to abstain from exercising their franchise. The excuse being, no matter whom you elect, the system remains unchanged and hence the non-cooperation!
The big leaders know it well and so the villages suddenly come into their focus. The farmers (if they still exist, since many have already ended their lives) are hugged, tears wiped from wrinkled faces of old hags and naked babies are held with sanitised hands and their noses wiped clean, maybe for the first time. The roads to villages are mended quickly and helipads are constructed for the candidates to trav
el as fast as possible. The people who have never stepped out of their air-conditioned BMW's and Mercedes can now be seen toiling it out in the sun. With hands clasped in a Namaste, they trundle along in an open jeep, sweating, toasting in the scorching sun. All for the precious votes. Sometimes they even appear dressed up as mythological characters to exploit the spiritual side of the voter like in this snap that came in a daily, The Hindu.While some list out promises of basic necessities like water and sanitation, others are quick to point out the needs of a tired labourer when he heads home, a television to entertain his tired soul!
Elsewhere we see netas suddenly transforming from Scrooges to great givers. Unable to 'see' the misery of the aam aadmi (common man), they distribute money around. I always wonder how it eluded them all those five years, only to revisit their memories before the elections!
But all know how much they desire the rift between the poor and rich to stay and widen. The politicians need both sides of the society, the rich they need for all the money needed to oil out their power machinery and they need the poor equally, their precious votes which would keep them at the helm of their well oiled system. Some even have innovative ideas of splitting a state into newer ones. If successful, the small-time leaders can be assured of a bigger office in the newly formed state!
Then there are the super rich NRI's mostly from US finding a way of investing in the Indian market. They either vow to sponsor an already successful party so that when it comes into power, they would be equally benefited or some even have greater plans to actually contest the elections!! They try out their luck in getting a ticket through big parties, party ideologies are never a point of contention. All that counts is dollars or pounds! If they win, they stay put in India; if they lose, nothing actually lost, they go back to where they came from. Many have forgotten that elections are actually conducted to find out a good representative of the people!
Many Ministers and candidates probably go for a dentist sitting as they do have to exhibit their dentures (be it their own or fake ones) to the public in all its glory.
Some who get tired of smiling, resort to wearing masks with a fake 'plastic' (how true) smile on it.
One thing we Indians can never deny is our love-hate relationship with the movie world. I have heard of rickshaw drivers who do day and night shift to make ends meet but would never miss the first day first show of their favourite movie star. And during the elections, these very stars step down from their tinsel cocoon to fetch those votes from their fan following for different parties. They are paraded along with the party's candidate. He/she waves at the crowd and the hysteric crowd wave back at them. That's it, the vote is assured.
Under the 'strict' watchful eyes of the EC, the elections are conducted all over the country, forget the booth capturing and fake votes. Many vote; majority do not, who feel wise to sit at home and watch the proceedings with popcorn and cola in front. And children being innovative, play memory games with the innumerable party symbols that keeps increasing every term as disgruntled sidelined party men pop up with newer parties.
Soon one more election will be over and when the results are out after much nail biting wait, people congratulate each other over phone when their favourite candidate wins even if they never voted for him. A long day that ends in celebration and fireworks...
And then next day dawns... a new day for India? God knows!
